The Fear Of Owning What You Truly Want

Ever get asked the question, “what do you want?” and answer:

“I don’t know”?

Or maybe you give some answer that SOUNDS good…

But maybe something feels off about it…

But not off enough to worry about it or think differently about it.

Everyone loves that “you” want that thing.

Maybe it’s the nice house.

Or the nice car.

Or the material possession that you pride yourself on because so many people tell you how much they love it.

Or maybe it’s the country or city you live in.

You know…

Since that’s the “best” place to be!


What if I told you that you might not actually want what you tell others that you want?

If you feel a pang of anxiety, it means you subconsciously agree with me.

You Haven’t Been Living The Way You Want To

If this resonates, there’s also a very high chance you don’t feel very motivated by life.

You could work harder, but what’s the point?

Why bother?

You could get more clients.

Build another business.

Grow your current one.

Achieve more.

But you know that’s not going to be what fulfills you.

Even though you can’t quite put your finger on what WILL fulfill you instead.

So you brush it off.

Continue with the monotonous, day to day grind.

Then sometimes something catches your eye.

Maybe it’s an activity.

A hobby.

A trip.

An experience.

A new career or business path.

And your eyes light up.

For the first time in a while, you get excited about something.

You feel inspired!

You feel joy in your heart, or excitement, or hope.

You feel different.

Like maybe life doesn’t have to be so boring and tiresome after all.

Then the fears start creeping in.

“What will others think about this thing? This isn’t normal to like or want” you tell yourself.

“It’s too big of a risk or a change to give this a go.”

“I don’t want it THAT badly.”

So you give it up for awhile.

But every time someone mentions it or you see someone else living it, you imagine yourself doing it living it or being it.

Then remind yourself of all the made up reasons why you can’t have / do / be that thing.

The cycle continues.

And you keep telling yourself that by making more money.

Making more friends.

Doing new things.

You’ll get out of this funk.

You won’t.

Maybe it gets a bit more bearable.

But something at the back of your head knows you aren’t happy.

This is what happens when you live out of alignment with what you ACTUALLY want.

When you lie to yourself and tell yourself that you want these other things that are stopping you from doing / having / being what you actually want…

You’re slowly killing yourself.

Your love for life.

The joy behind your eyes.

The person you know you can be.

And how excited for life you can wake up as every day.

Remember when you were a kid and every day was a joy?

Every day was wonderful?

Every day had something you looked forward to.

If nothing else…

The gift of being alive was enough.

I believe we all can be like that.

You know…

Maybe with a bit more maturity and class haha.

But we can wake up as that little boy or little girl every single day when we find what we truly love and live in the way we truly want to.

It’s probably the scariest thing you’ll ever do, owning what you want.

Because then you’re responsible for the outcome, challenges, roadblocks, and things that come with the territory of wanting this specific thing that you want.

And if you’re like I was, you’re so used to “running things by people” and letting everyone know your plans…

It’s going to feel strange that I’m going to ask you to not tell anyone about this thing that you want, and to just go try it out.

Obviously if you have obligations you need to tell people where you’re going to be at.

But don’t make a big deal out of it to anyone else.

Don’t “run it by” anyone.

Don’t “ask for suggestions or feedback” from anyone.

Just go try it.

If it’s a new career path, job shadow or learn from someone for a day.

Start a blog or start writing about the thing you’re actually passionate about.

If it’s to move somewhere, go there for a week or two and see how you like it there.

If it’s to try a new style, test out wearing little pieces of that new clothing style at a time.

Just do a little test run.

Tip toe.

Maybe you realize you hate running your business.

Or you really don’t enjoy the clients you work with.


As scary as it is to acknowledge that fear, the good news is that nothing has changed.

Only the new information you have has changed.

Now you can work your way onto accepting the fear and doing the thing.

Maybe you start up a side project (like this one!) which is where your heart truly is so over time it can replace your full-time thing.

Or maybe you just have to make a few small tweaks to your full time thing to be happy.

Whatever it is, now that you’ve identified it, you can move forward.

So how do you identify the thing you WANT to do?

By realizing this:

If there has been one or two things in your head while reading this and you feel the fear and anxiety.

Maybe you feel a little hot or flushed at your cheeks.

You know we’re onto something.

And that’s probably the very thing you need to do / have / be, whether you like it or not.

What if you just did it?

Put aside all the fears.

All the doubts.

All the worries.

And just gave yourself permission to just do it?

Regardless of what anyone else thought?

This is the sign you’ve been looking for.


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